This. OMG this

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“I. On my right is a boy who I love very much. We just came back from a screening of short films. The last one was about a girl who is brought to the future by her third generation clone. At the end of the film my thoughts were consumed by death. That was like a… some metaphor that I can’t even quite think of. It scares me. The boy I love has a brain tumor. I think about him dying about once or twice a week. Not a lot, but probably too much. I more often think about the dried flowers that hang from my wall by dental floss that he has picked for me. Or the way he moves his hands over the world and makes beautiful pieces come together into raw, unfiltered art.

II. I came in patches when I met him. He brought my corners together, folding them into his pocket. I came with an excavation knife, picking away at the hardened bit until our bones could touch. We both uncovered the earth we had sunk in.

III. Sometimes I think we will be together forever. Sometimes I think everything is meant to come to an end. But I suppose the definition of end is a little arbitrary.

IV. I just signed a contract. And I’m honestly a little unsure what it was for. Funny how we are so willing to put our names on things.

V. but I would intertwine my name with his.”

-THE STRANGER’S PROJECT

Whoever wrote this beautiful piece is my favorite now. ❤

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Of BFFs and besties

Having girlfriends is quite crucial in a girl’s life. We read about it in books, see it in the movies. The Girl Code, sisters before misters, chicks before dicks. We’ve all heard these sayings more than once in our lives. Everyday, around us. Movies, TV shows, books, music, you name it. They all preach the importance of sisterhood, having girl friends, and as they say “boys come and go but girlfriends are forever.”

This had me thinking. And it came as a blow. When I think about BFFs and besties and girl friends, I can’t name one in my life. Like. Yes. I had BFFs, I had plenty. Just, the friendship wouldn’t last long no matter what I tried. Every year, I’d make a new BFF, and every time I would lose her to someone or something else. And that would leave me feeling sad all the time.

I am not that kind of person who has a big circle of friends, I’ve never been that person. The friends that I have are very few. Mostly one or two. And I don’t talk to anybody who hasn’t ever spoken to me. I don’t know, I just don’t like meeting new people.

I know when I started becoming this reserved. I changed schools three times in 4 years, and thus, I had no friends. I’d stay to myself, mind my own business. The whole of sixth grade, I was friendless. I was the new girl and nobody would talk to me. In seventh grade, there was only one girl whom I spoke with. For the next two years, she became my BFFFFFF. Seriously. I was so happy that someone was friends with me, I think I freaked her out by being too excited. But. In the ninth grade, she got in a separate class, and we would only meet when it was the lunch period or when the school was over. Gradually, she had different friends and I was left alone again.

In the tenth grade, there was this girl, who sat next to me and she became a good friend. But we never spoke once we finished school, so. That doesn’t even count.

When I started college, the first few months were HORRIBLE for me. But soon after, I made friends with three girls, and we’re still friends, but we rarely meet because two of them are married with babies and we all just got busy with our lives. We do the occasional hi and hello.

When I started university, it was a fresh start. But the first semester was depressing for me as my parents didn’t let me go out with new friends, and soon I became the “weird girl.” I started reading a lot and nobody bothered me, and I was happy with that. But in the second semester, a girl approached me and she literally forced us to be friends. She got married in August and I shared pictures of us here. She could be my BFF but she’s moved to Sri Lanka with her husband and so now, we just talk over whatsapp or facebook.

There was this other girl at university, too. I initiated the friendship, though. And we were really good friends. BFFs, morelike. We spent four years, studying the same courses and taking the same classes. And we always paired together in assignments and projects. We used to go EVERYWHERE together. But. In the last year at university, I lost her to a boy. She got in a relationship with a guy from our class, who is now her fiance. When she started dating him, it was as if I had stopped existing. We used to sit in the same class, together, but we never talked because she was so busy flirting with her then-boyfriend. And so, back to my books I went. I started buying a lot of books and finishing them in just a few days. And when I ran out of new stuff to read, I started re-reading the Harry Potter series (for the fifteenth time). We talk now. But very less. It’s usually when she needs something from me, she’ll text.

I don’t know, though. All this hype about having girl friends, and the Girl Code and Friends Forever. For me, this is all bull. No offense. But seriously. Nothing lasts forever. Not family, not friends, not love. But. Obviously, I don’t want to be a pessimist. So. I am looking. It’s not like I have stopped hoping, because I do. I have hopes, and I have dreams. Let’s see what life has to offer now.


By the way, I’m really sorry for sharing my whole (almost) life story to you here. I had something brief in mind and all this came out.

Favorite show

Favorite show

I’ve been a fan since the first season came out. Love the show, love the Winchester brothers! :3

Oh, and this is my favorite quote. One of my favorites from the show, btw. I just love Dean’s personality, the way he watches out for his baby brother. I can relate, because I have younger siblings that I would jump in front of a moving train for.

Supernatural teaches me about love, reminds me of the strong relationship between siblings. No matter how many fights we have, they will always be a part of me, because we are siblings. We share the same blood. We are family. :’) ❤