Rantings

I’ve been standing at a crossroad in this phase of my life for a very long time now. And I guess, I’ve procrastinated a little (okay, a lot). And it hasn’t helped. Neither has family for that matter.

When should parents back off from trying to control their child’s life? I feel as if I am still their puppet. I try to break free but they won’t keep their hands off of me, and I just trip over and fall each time I make a run for it.

Asian parents are more controlling than the average parent, and I guess one can’t really get them off their backs so easily. Especially Brown parents. Also, especially in a stupid society like Pakistan’s.

But when is enough enough? When do we finally say no? When do we take back our own lives? I want to be the grownup they’ve raised me to be. But HOW do I get this past the thick skulls of theirs? My parents are full of contradictions. On one hand, I am old enough to have 3 kids by now, a house and a husband of my own. But, yet, I am too naive to make my own decisions and too young to take control of my life.

When will parents let their kids finally grow up?

Tbrh

I am not close to my sister. She was always the baby of the family, and I was always the oldest. Our age difference is 6 years. We never hung out much when we were growing up. And we had different circles of friends. She was always with kids her age and I was with kids my age.

Also. Parents shouldn’t do that, but they have always favored her from the rest of us, simply because she was the youngest. They still baby her sometimes. Well, most of the times. My sister is 19 this year. When I was her age, I was a grownup in my parents’ eyes. Same is not the case with her. She is still a child, and forever will be, as they constantly say.

It stings, because my parents treat her with such love and care that was not there when I was growing up. They don’t talk to me like that. Never have, never will. Eldest of 5 siblings, I have always been the grownup, always expected to be the mature one. I know, I know. Parents don’t have it easy, considering mine were married at a very young age, and have 5 children now. Someone has to sacrifice, to take the fall. It stings that it had to be me.

Of course I love my siblings. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for them, obviously. Even though my sister and I barely talk these days, I love her too.

I just don’t show it. I don’t know how to.

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