Names that I have adored

When I was younger, I was really in love with two names for boys: Mustafa and Hamza.

When my younger twin brothers were born, I begged mom to name them that. When she didn’t, I made a vow at 13, that I would either marry a guy with that name, or give my future sons that name.

It’s something that has stayed with me as a constant throughout these years.

One day. Idk. But one day.

Picture credit: Lume & Penna 




She just texted me that she’s going to the hospital and she’ll probably give birth by morning. I’m so happy because I’lll have a niece and we’re gonna wear pink and cute matching dresses and play makeover and dolls and house and tea party and I will be the coolest aunt ever! :’) Okay. I’ve planned way ahead, but yeah. 🙂 I already have nephews, so, dying for a niece now. ❤ ❤

I hope everything goes alright with her, and the baby comes fine. Please pray for my cousin! I can’t wait to visit her and hold my baby niece in my arms! :’) *celebration time* ❤

This is my cousin and me and her baby, who is 11 months old right now. ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Ignore my fat face here .-.

Ignore my fat face here .-.



This is my nephew. Aariz, you will always be my baby. <3

This is my nephew. Aariz, you will always be my baby. ❤

Journal entry: Aug-Sep

So many things have happened since August. I have been meaning to write it all down, but you know me. I’m very, very lazy. But I’ve finally got around to do it. The past month was one crazy rollercoaster ride. There were many ups, and a few downs, too. But overall, I had my plate quite full.

1. I got a 3.5 GPA- August 1st:

3.5 GPA

My uncle brought me this cake when he heard the news. 🙂

2. My best friend got married- August 15th:

My best friend, Rizwana, got married. She looked so beautiful as a bride! That’s my other bestie, Iqra, in the selfies. ❤

Iqra & I

We were obsessed taking selfies! 🙂

My best friend, Rizwana, got married. She looked so beautiful as a bride! That's my other bestie, Iqra, in the selfies. <3

Bride and Groom in the house! 🙂 ❤ So happy for them!

3. My parents went to Malaysia for a week- August 12th.

4. My younger brother graduated from his university- August 16th.

5. I slipped down the steps when it was raining, and hurt myself- August 14th.

6. My cousin had a Frozen themed birthday party. It was amazing!- August 23rd:


Maryam’s Frozen themed birthday!

DSC_0071 DSC_0041


I wore a wreath. It looked pretty! <3

I wore a wreath. It looked pretty! ❤

7. My birthday was nice, too- August 31st:

IMG_0229    Birthday selfies!

My cutie cousin, Mina! <3  IMG_1844

8. I started work- September 8th.

9. I quit work- September 9th.

10. I finally, FINALLY started taking driving classes- September 8th.

11. I found out that my IDIOT university messed up my records, and that I might graduate next year- September 9th.

12. I visited my old house after 17 years- September 14th.

13. My cousin flew to the US to attend UCLA- September 15th:

Good luck, Irsa! ❤

14. My BFF/sister/cousin is having another baby- September 16th:

IMG_2004 IMG_1988

❤ You can read about us here.



Safi & Hassaan

Safi & Hassaan

May 1st, 2002 was a beautiful day indeed. The sun shone bright in the cloudless sky, rejoicing in its sweet freedom. The winds gently whispered as the birds chirped harmoniously and the flowers seemed to bloom even fuller. This was the day when magic- life and hope- was in the air. This was the day we welcomed my twin baby brothers into this big, wild world.

From 3 siblings, we became 5, with me as the eldest. When my dad brought my younger siblings and I to the hospital to visit, my exhausted mother was overwhelmed with emotion as she held both babies in her arms. The sight was just scared, the bond between mother and child, in this case-children, was just beautiful to watch. What made it more ethereal was when my dad looked down at them with a smile on his face. Even though I was only 12 years old, I knew my father was overwhelmed with love. He could just stand there forever looking at them.

The moment was so private, so magical that my two younger siblings and I felt as if we were intruding upon them. My mother looked up and called me to her. Tears pricked my eyes as I walked over and placed my hand on my brothers’ cheeks. Their skin was so soft and smooth to my touch; it felt like a fine patchwork of silk. When I held their tiny frames against my chest, they smelled of anti-septic, milk, and of baby- of faith and of life.

Nothing can amount to the happiness that I felt as I held my baby brothers in my arms… God knows I love them to the moon and beyond.

My baby brothers are 12 today. *sniff* It feels as if it were just yesterday they were crawling and spitting and blubbering their baby talk. Wanna hear something funny? When mom told me she was pregnant with twins, I spent all 9 months praying for them to be girls. Haha. But yeah. I love them so much… And I hope they always remain loyal to me, as I am to them.

To the moon and beyond.


The day of her Nikkah- March 21st 2013


I saw a tear roll down her cheek. I had never seen my cousin cry before. I looked away as she brushed it off with the back of her hand. I was feeling quite overwhelmed myself. The news was just a matter of time, I thought. It is ironic how one can have love for something that doesn’t exist, someone who isn’t even born yet. Yet, there is that humbling feeling that weighs your heart down with love. It bursts through like the break of dawn, the first sunray through the clouded sky. For the first time in my life, I was going to become an aunt. Nothing in the world mattered at that moment, and it is quite hard to have words to describe the joy that I felt.


Tabinda and I are first cousins, from my father’s side. She is 11 months older than me, and we have spent every minute together since then. We went to the same school, had the same teachers, and friends. We wore matching outfits when we were kids, listened to the same music and watched the same movies. When something went wrong, we were both blamed, and when one of us was feeling down, the other was always there to cheer up the mood. Needless to say, we act like twins. One glance, and I know what she is thinking. I agree, I was a bit jealous when she got married in March this year. Was I willing to share my sister with someone else? It seemed a bit unfair actually. It was hard to see her laughing with another man, joking around and living at his place. But she was happy, and so was I, I decided.


I was the first person she confided in after she was pregnant. And that day couldn’t have gone happier. I was going to become an aunt. The idea seemed a bit far-fetched, as I haven’t felt this way before.  However, everything changed when she brought the black and white photograph of her ultra sound. The image was fuzzy and abstract, and I could barely make out the shape. The baby was 10 weeks old, my cousin told me. I couldn’t see much of the baby’s features and shape, it was all just a black rectangular blob, but it was an overwhelming experience, nonetheless, imagining what he or she would look like, and trying to picture the tiny nose, the small feet and the nails on his or her fingers.


24 years ago, my cousin was a baby in her mother’s arms, and now she will have a baby of her own. The news still has the power to quicken my heart with all the anticipation, and tremendous joy. And I know, deep down in my heart, that the moment I hold my niece or nephew would bring me as much joy as if I were holding one of my very own.