Hello, world

I’m not dead. πŸ™‚

It’s been weeks since I posted, or even logged in here. I have a lot of unread notifications that I’m dying to see. I will, but later. I’m super busy with my final at university. It’s tomorrow, and I still have to finish working on a couple of things.

This whole month has been super hectic. And I’m so tired, and sleepy, and worn out and feeling cut off from the while world.

Anyway. I’m awfully tired. I’m in bed, it’s 2.30 am here. And I have a very busy and early day tomorrow.

So, bye. I’ll start writing soon. Promise. πŸ™‚

Night! xx

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Video Profile

So, the other day, I was panickingΒ about a video project that was due today. To be honest, I’m not at all skilled at making videos. This is my second try at creating a video project and I really thought I would not be able to do it and that I would fail the assignment.

I was freaking out because I’ve never used After Effects or any animation/moviemaker program, so a friend recommended this awesome websiteΒ which totally saved my ass from failing.Β She said the website is good for beginners,Β and it truly is a godsend. I spent almost 6 hours straight working on my project, and voila! A work of perfection! Almost, or idk.

So, the submission was today, and I barely got enough sleep. But it was worth it because my teacher really liked it! πŸ˜€ I was so happy, I could dance! Which would be totally weird because that’s one thing I can never ever do. My brain just freezes and I’d trip over my own two feet and fall. Not kidding or exaggerating. It’s true.

Anyway. The assignment was about creating an introductory video that would give the viewer a clear idea about what we are and what we stand for. It’s kind of a resume but not completely that. Also, we had to choose one profession and create a business card and a webpage.

I chose blogger/writer.

And here is my business card and webpage. I made these 15 minutes before the class, so they’re not that perfect. But the weird thing is, ourΒ teacher didn’t want me toΒ make any changes.

BUSINESS CARD2

Business card

WEBPAGE

Webpage

Note: That quote that I’ve used in my webpage is my own, from a poem I wrote around 2 years ago. And the very talented Eugenia Clara, a typography doodler, designed it for me. πŸ™‚

Kindness exists :)

Today turned out to be a good day. πŸ™‚ First, my assignment went really well. πŸ™‚ I’ll be posting the video really soon.Β Also, today after class, I headed down to Dunkin’ Donuts because

a. We don’t haveΒ Starbucks here

and b. I deserve a treat for all the time slaving at the gym and then coming home and working my ass off to make the video project.

Anyway. When it was time to pay for my doughnut and coffee at Dunkin’ Donuts, I realized I had forgotten my wallet at home. *the horror and the shame*Β Cursing myself,Β I found I was short onΒ cash. So, I told the cashier to remove the doughnut and only charge me for the coffee. Maybe he could tell I was exhausted, or maybe he was just kind. I don’t know, but he gave me a free doughnut. I politely refused but he wouldn’t stop insisting.

So, I left DD with a big smile on my face,Β my favorite double chocolate doughnut in my hand, and my faith in humanity restored.

So, today was a good day indeed. Kindness exists. This made me so happy. πŸ™‚ I am going toΒ go back and pay for the doughnut anyway.

Good day (or night, as it is here) to you all! xx

I wish I had magic

Okay. I know, I know. I haven’t been posting much lately. But that’s because I’m so caught up with this class I’m taking at university. Hashtag no life.Β 

Okay, so this girl from class just told me we have to make a personal video profile, like an animated resume or CV and that it’s due on Wednesday. This Wednesday. Cue a hundred panic attacks. 😦 We all thought it optional, but theΒ teacher confirmed otherwise.

So, I am good at Photoshop and coming up with ideas. However. The only problem is, I do not- NOT– know how to use animation and video programs. I haven’t got a clue. I don’t even know how to edit a video. I tried googling, butΒ it’s all just going over my head. It’s so difficult. 😦

I have decided what I want my video to look like. It’s all designed in my head, though. Our teacher told us to show our strengths, so I was probably gonna go with an advertising creative, or a baker, or a writer. I don’t want to be too predictable, so I think I won’t do the writer part. Baker, maybe.Β *hyperventilates*Β I don’t know. Time is running out and I’m horribly confused… :/

Where’s myΒ fairy-godmother when I need her? πŸ˜₯

This hit me hard

β€œDepression is not Lana Del Rey music, with smeared black eyeliner and tears running down your face.

It is not a blood-stained tub, or the blade sitting across from you.

It is not being rocked back and forth by a boy as he kisses your head and whispers β€œI love you” repeatedly in your ear.

Depression is not the dread you feel when the person you love the most doesn’t text you back.

Depression is disgusting. It is low and filthy and dirty and it eats you away, bit by bit.

Depression is the stale smell of your room and your clothes, because you have no energy to clean anything.

It is sitting in the bathtub for hours as you feel that dirty type of clean, letting the hot water run down your body in no aims to stand up and turn it off.

It is the hunch in your back and the the defeated slouch in your shoulders, the kind that your parents always try to fix, exclaiming β€œSit up straight,” but what good does that ever do.

Depression is the hours spent lying in your bed, trying desperately to fall asleep but never being able to.

It is your eyes being so heavy-lidded and the circles under them that don’t fade, even after a good nights sleep.

Depression is the sinking feeling you get when you enter school and your mind is already set – why would you care about your grades when you don’t even care about your life?

It is the darkest kind of dark, the kind that intoxicates your brain and turns your best friends to enemies, your family to people you simply push away so they don’t have to hurt just because you do.

It is the raw feeling of emptiness, the kind that gnaws at your very insides and leaves you nothing more than a walking skeleton, incapacitated and incapable of feeling anything but sorrow and sadness for nobody but yourself.

Depression is the deepest hole you could ever think of, the only one you could ever think of because you dug it yourself.

It is being not only unable, but unwilling to pull yourself up, having the darkness swallow you whole.

Depression is not rain. It is being unable to see the sun, even after the rainΒ has passed.”

It is 2015. Stop romanticizing depression.


I don’t know who wrote this beautiful piece. I found it on my facebook newsfeed, posted by this page.